Learning to be quietly, sublimely happy despite the circumstances

Be kind to yourself. Be gentle with yourself. Celebrate yourself.

​By the happynesswalas™, Vaani and AVIS

3-minute read
Synopsis:
Happiness is not really elusive.

​In the midst of running a never-ending marathon called daily Life, we must find a sliver of time to sit quietly with ourselves. Doing a simple, three-part, reflective exercise in this time can completely change our perspective about the Life we have.

It will leave us soaked in Happiness. 

​Style guide: Vaani and AVIS spell Life with a capital ‘L’ and Happiness with a capital ‘H’. This is because both of them believe that Life is the greatest teacher and Happiness is the biggest wealth. However, when quoting the subjects of their writings, they use these two words without the accentuated capitalization of their first letters.

​“It is so difficult to be happy in this wretched world,” said our radiologist.

We were consulting her. After reviewing our reports, she chatted with us, wanting to know more about us. When she heard that we are the happynesswalas™, she made that exasperated remark.

She further added: “I lost my mother recently and I am struggling to cope with that loss. My husband and I have grown very distant. My two children are always busy. They have no time for me. All our businesses are making losses. And we have way too much debt. On top of it all, to earn a living, I have to do more hospital visits daily. This means being stuck in traffic for more hours. It also means being heavily dependent on my unreliable maid and cook. That’s not something I like. I constantly feel overworked and overwhelmed!”

​This doctor’s lament is certainly not unique. What’s interesting is that she’s vocal about how she’s feeling. A majority of the people on the planet, however, are plodding along silently. 

​Running a never-ending marathon
A typical day in everyone’s Life is usually exhausting. It feels like you are running a never-ending marathon. This is particularly true for all those who are employed and live in an urban environment. You have to cook and clean, and cook and clean some more. You must struggle through traffic at least twice daily. Then there are enormous workplace pressures and unreasonable bosses to deal with. If you blink, bills become overdue and you must scramble to pay them. And if you have kids, you are spending hours ferrying them to school and back or for their endless extracurricular activities. Of course, there are societal pressures and appalling levels of public governance to contend with too.

Indeed, each day is tough on everyone – and it always seems a notch tougher than the previous day.

​On top of this daily stress overload that is non-negotiable for everyone, there are huge individual challenges to be dealt with. Someone’s fighting a cancer or some other grave health situation. Someone’s got complex financial issues. Or someone’s in a relationship that is going nowhere. Or someone has hit a career plateau. Someone else is out of job. Or someone in the family needs urgent care and attention. 

​Happiness is not really elusive
Clearly, Life never appears to be easy. And everyone feels beaten and emotionally broken at some point or the other when trying to cope with the upheavals of everyday living.

But this does not quite mean that you cannot be happy while earning a living and coping with the nasty curveballs that Life throws at you. On the contrary, we believe that no matter how hard Life may be, there is still an opportunity for each of us to be happy despite the circumstances.

Now, how do you discover this opportunity and seize it – daily?

Simply, you must change the way you think about your daily Life. Know that your Life’s events and contexts are not stacked up against you. They are just events and contexts. This is the truth. You are not alone; everyone out there is battling their own situations. This is also the truth. And you are not a victim. You are, in fact, a hero. Because to last each tough day, and to wake up afresh to take on the next tough one, is a great act of heroism. This is again the truth.

So be kind to yourself. Be gentle with yourself. And celebrate yourself.

​Remember: Working hard and staying afloat, so that you can earn a living and raise a family, is not just an ordinary battle for survival that you win daily. It is as big as winning a Grand Slam title in tennis or an Olympic gold medal – daily. Yet the world does not always recognize heroes among ordinary, everyday folks. Therefore, no one else is ever going to hail you as a hero. So you have to believe in your own heroic journey. And this is why you must pause to celebrate yourself. Daily. 

How to celebrate yourself
Celebrating yourself requires that you find a few minutes each day to sit quietly with yourself. Then, go through this three-part, reflective exercise:

• Reflect on all that you have accomplished in the last 24 hours. Count even the smallest achievements you have had in your context. Reflect also on all the people you love and who matter in your Life. Experience how you feel about these reflections.
• Then, reflect on all that you keep complaining about – what you don’t have. Also reflect on the people that don’t matter in your Life but who constantly demand your time and emotional energy. Experience how you feel about these reflections.
• Finally, ask yourself which set of reflections make you happy?

Surely, your daily accomplishments and the people who count in your Life make you feel very, very good. This simple exercise holds the key to being happy every day of your Life. You must make this exercise a daily habit. It teaches you to give more attention to all the people and activities that matter in your Life. This is how you learn to be happy despite your circumstances. Basically, this way you learn to be non-complaining and to be grateful for the Life you have. This is how you celebrate yourself. It makes you quietly, sublimely happy.

​It is a great feeling. Soak in it – daily. 

[Vaani and AVIS are the happynesswalas™. They are expert writers and biographers, accomplished speakers and conversationalists, and culture specialists. To know their fascinating story, click here.]